Dating Tips Article:

Is He The One? Some Questions To Ask Yourself

By Dr. Emily Kensington

"Get The Best Dating Tips!"

As a couples therapist, I'm often asked for dating tips. One of the trickiest aspects of dating is our frequent inability to adequately gauge the character of a potential partner.

There is always some degree of "risk" involved in dating; for clearly, we must enter into a relationship and get connected to a partner in order to evaluate the "potential match".

To avoid such potential heartache, I will show you how to avoid allowing your emotions taking off too quickly in the early stages.

The answer lies in your ability understand that infatuation is not long-term love, and your ability to get to know and evaluate potential partners more comprehensively before moving too quickly towards intimacy and future misery.

So, what should we be paying attention to as you get to know your new partner? Below is a list of vital questions worth exploring.

How does he handle his emotions?

How does spirituality impact the fabric of their day-to-day day life?

How does he think about and handle money?

What is his or her sex drive like (apart from the honeymoon stage in the beginning of relationships where sex is more frequent?)

Is he comfortable expressing affection? And if so, how does he prefer to do so?

What does she like? Sports, concerts, theater, museums?

Is he a homebody?

Does he like pets?

Is she interested in having children? If so, how many?

What does he feel strongly about (politics, religion, work, money, volunteering, etc.) and how does that impact his day-to-day life?

Does he drink? If so, how often?

Does he find it important to have time alone, or with friends apart from me?

How important is her job; and does it tend to keep her occupied well into the evening?

Does he enjoy travel? Adventure or relaxing vacations?

What is her relationship to her family of origin? And how often does she spend time with them, call them on the phone, go to them for advice?

It is also important to examine your partner's communication skills.

How defensive is he? When you disagree, is he interested in working collaboratively towards a solution? Or is he always advocating for his own point-of-view? Does he speak to me in a non-aggressive tone even if you disagree?

Does he invalidate your feelings, or does he work to understand you?

These communication skills are vital because they determine your success as a couple. Differing point of views are fine, and even healthy. The overall question is, can you both negotiate your differences in a healthy manner?

ACTION FOR THE DAY: Try a little focused attention and casual information gathering early in the relationship. These smart dating tips will lessen the potential of you falling too fast and getting hurt.

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