How To Plan A Successful First Date!

By Dr. Emily Kensington

"A Relationship Expert Teaches You How To Make Your Date Great!"

The first date can be fun, but also very nerve-wracking. What do do? What to say? As a relationship expert and couples therapist, I'm frequently asked about what makes a good first date, so I put together this helpful guide!

Good First Date Ideas

The first official encounter should let the couple learn about one another in a new way (outside of work, away from school, etc.), and experience a broad enough range of behaviors to discover if they want to meet again. The date should also provide entertainment to both individuals: something they both enjoy doing. Some first date ideas include:

- A sport you both enjoy: biking, swimming, hiking, skating, a baseball game, etc.

- Visit a local attraction as a couple: museums, art galleries, amusement parks, zoos, etc.

- Try a new activity together that you have never tried but are both interested in.

- Going someplace casual for a relaxed conversation away from your regular environment: a cafe, park, etc.

Whatever you choose the date should be relatively stress-free, enabling both of you to to relax and enjoy.

USEFUL TIPS:

- Remember to be yourself: Harboring too many secrets will only taint the relationship in the future as your partner will feel betrayed upon discovering the truth.

- Create a safety net: Take a cell phone and extra money along in case the date doesn’t pan out.

Bad First Date Ideas

- Dinner and a movie: There is no opportunity to get to know one another.

- Meeting families: Family members often have expectations that can be uncomfortable for a new person.

- Private dates in residences or secluded areas: Unless the individuals are well-acquainted prior to dating, it is best to play it safe and stay in more public spaces.

- Exotic activities that one person knows far better than the other, but this is ok if the inexperienced individual wants to try something new.

- Inviting too many friends can make a new person uncomfortable or feel on display, and also makes it more difficult to get to know one another.

DEFINITE DON'TS:

- Do not monopolize the conversation. Listen and ask questions in order to get to know your date.

- Do not quickly bring up controversial topics such as politics, religion, war, etc. In the future, however, dating someone with whom you share political views such as dating a fellow campaign volunteer can bring couples close together. Having a similar worldview is an important predictor of long-term relationships.

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