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Office Romance: Is Dating A Co-worker A Good Idea?

By Dr. Emily Kensington

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Office romance is very common and virtually unavoidable. As a couples therapist, I'm often asked about the pros and cons of dating a co-worker.

Studies show that we spend more time with co-workers than our own families, so it common to form deep, and often passionate, connections that easily cross the line from platonic to romantic. As a result, one popular study indicated that 50 percent of unfaithful women and about 62 percent of unfaithful men were involved with someone from work.

People who work together under stressful conditions are particularly vulnerable to office romance. Bonding frequently occurs over coffee breaks which present a great opportunity to catch up or get to know one another. Soon they begin to depend on each other for workplace and emotional support. In short, it's conducive to building romance.

Tale-tell signs of a brewing fling include frequent meetings at the water-cooler or coffee machine, becoming more familiar with each others' personal lives, more and more emails, instant messages and text messages becoming increasingly more endearing.

When the relationship deteriorates, however, is often when the trouble begins. Complaints of favoritism, sexual harassment, decreased productivity of those involved, decreased morale of co-workers are all common outcomes of workplace relationships. Often, retaliation, stalking or physical violence occurs when the relationship ends, especially in cases of marital infidelity.

Precautions

Be mindful of your company's policy regarding workplace relationships. If you are not certain, contact your HR department. While workplace relationships are virtually to control, you don't want to get into trouble or damage your career.

Obviously, supervisors dating subordinates is never recommended, as supervisors can makes themselves vulnerable to legal charges of harassment or inappropriate behavior.

Also, be very careful regarding emails. Assume that all electronic communication I monitored by your employer and is basically an open postcard for the world to read.

So should you go for it? There's no easy answer, but be sure to be aware of the possible consequences and understand your motivation for starting an office romance.

If you are married, you are usually better off expending all that energy to mend your marriage or get a divorce rather than have an affair, as affairs make everyone's lives more complicated.

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