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Parenting Advice Article:

Co-parenting Tips For Divorced Or Separated Parents

by Dr. Emily Kensington

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As a family therapist, I often give parenting advice to divorced or separated parents who are struggling with co-parenting.

Here are some essential rules to consider for healthy co-parenting in the best interest of your child:

Never say negative things about the other parent in front of the children. Similarly, do not allow anyone else (friends, other family members) say negative things.

Mind your tone. Do not speak to your ex in inflammatory or edgey ways.

The reason should be obvious. You want to model appropriate adult behavior in front of your children. More importantly, this helps children psychologically as younger children especially tend to blame themselves for things that go wrong in their environment.

Share important information such as medical or school information, and attend events together when possible.

Any disagreements or conflicts must not be discussed in front of the children. It's often useful to agree to set communication times, and the parent who has children during such times must initiate call or return an unanswered call within a few minutes. Place your children's needs above your potentially selfish concerns.

Never leave children on the doorstep! What type of message does that send? How would you feel if the person who is supposed to love you did that to you?

Any changes in the schedule, etc. must be discussed with the other parent before informing the children. Do not place children in loyalty conflicts.

Take responsibility for following these rules even if the other parent doesn't.

When All Else Fails

If your child is still having a hard time, despite your best efforts, it's time to get further assistance. Get this free Parenting advice for any situation from a Parenting Expert that will help your child and your family get back on track.